Friday, September 18th, 2009

Could someone proof read my German paragraph?

Lyla Lovett asked:


Don’t bother telling me where accent marks go. I’ve got that under control, I’m just too lazy to type them in here lol. I’m looking for corrections on spelling, word order, and how to best get across my idea.

Deutsche trinken wasser. Amerikonische trinken Cola. Deutsche Rad fahren. Amerikonische fahren. Deutsche sehr gesund leben. Es ist schade, dass Amerikonische halten uns fit nicht. Wir sollen mehr fur die Gesunheit tun.

Its supposed to read: Germans drink water. Americans drink soda. Germans ride bikes. Americans drive. Germans do a lot for their health. It is too bad that Americans don’t keep fit. We should do more for our health!
I’m only in my second year of German, but the teacher doesn’t go very in depth with what we do. She keeps everything very simple, and if we try to play it up a bit she tells us to stop making it so complicated.
Sedora you don’t need to be so critical. I realize that Germans drink soda and drive cars as well. It was obviously exaggerated to get my point across that in general they are healthier than we are. Not that I care in the slightest. I picked the easiest possible things to say to make this assignment so much easier on myself so I can move on to other, more important homework.

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7 Responses to “Could someone proof read my German paragraph?”

iRedflare Says:

Very good.

Jake wc Says:

How long have you been taking German? It is very good, but there is obviously more you could do.

Goddess of Grammar Says:

Amerikanische (a not o) is the adjective, the noun is Amerikaner.
Don’t put any words (Rad, sehr gesund) between the subject and the verb, except in a Nebensatz (5th sentence, when the verb goes at the end).
I don’t think that if you use “fahren” on its own, it necessarily implies cars.

Sedora Says:

Sorry, but that is not “very good”.

Deutsche trinken Wasser. Amerikaner trinken Cola. Deutsche fahren Rad. Amerikaner fahren Auto. Deutsche leben sehr gesund. Es ist schade, dass wir Amerikaner uns nicht fit halten. Wir sollten mehr für die Gesundheit tun.

Btw, Germans drink cola and drive cars too. And isn’t soda a word for all soft drinks, not just cola? You could translate it with “Limonade” then, not just Cola specifically.

WeLoveCharlotte Says:

Deutsche trinken Wasser. Amerikaner trinken Cola. Deutsche fahren Rad. Amerikaner fahren [Autos]. Deutsche leben sehr gesund. Es ist schade, dass Amerikaner nicht fit bleiben. Wir sollen mehr für unsere Gesundheit tun.

I’ve just corrected word order and spelling, with the exception of the fit bleiben = to keep fit. My biggest suggestion is to make sure you put the verb (finite verb) in the second position.

pro_and_contra Says:

Deutsche trinken Wasser.
Amerikaner trinken Limonade.
(soda water = Selterswasser, soda pop = Limonade, Cola is a brand name)
Deutsche fahren Rad.
(or: Deutsche fahren mit dem Fahrrad)
Amerikaner fahren mit dem Auto.
(or: Amerikaner fahren Auto)
Deutsche leben sehr gesund.
Es ist schade, dass Amerikaner sich nicht fit halten.
Wir sollen mehr für die Gesundheit tun.

Mangosteen Info Says:

This page wasnt working yesterday. i tried viewing it but it timed out 4-5 times now but i can access it now. Why did this occur? Am i the only one having this error?

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